hmmm

so today was pretty good. i got out of bed and got ready for my first day back to school and everything and went to the bookstore so i could get my books. well finally class time came around so i went to find it in the arts building and oh ya... there are a note on the door saying class is not being held today. well that was great. i got out of bed all early for no reason. stupid... ugh. whatever. i have my long class day tomorrow which i'm really not looking forward to but i guess i'll just have to get used to it. too bad so sad for me. lol. then i went down to brooke's house and we had fun hanging out and dying our awesome hair :) and then we went to see life as we know it in the dollar theater and it was sad but cute. whoever invented dollar theaters is a freaking genius. haha. love it!! anyways. i had a really good day today but i'm just really missing calvin. i'm in a good mood when i'm around people or my friends but then when i get home and i'm alone again... the sadness hits. i miss calvin so much and i just want him here. why can't i just be rich and he could come home and i could just pay for him to go to college instead of having the military pay for it? huh!?! why? seriously. well i guess i should be gratful that he isn't in the army doing like E.O.D or something where he has a good chance of dying. i don't know how well i would handle that. i mean i'm a freaking mess as it is now! well when i get really sad and depressed i just keep thinking that it's only temporary. i mean four years is a very very long time right now. but in the rest of our lives together, it's like nothing. lol. i just keep reminding myself that he misses me just as much as i miss him and he has it so much harder than i do. seriously. so i'm trying really hard not to complain because i have it really easy and i know that i do. my parents pay for everything and i'm just going to school and having a good college experience where as calvin has to earn everything he gets. i don't have a huge idea of what that i like and i can't even imagine. i mean ya i work but it's not a hard job whatsoever. but i am just soo gratful to have calvin in my life. i remember the first day we met :) i have been with him for a wonderful year and a half and it has been the best year and a half of my entire life and i just can't wait to spend another wonderful 50-60 years with him. my life has changed soo much in the past few months and at first i was having a really hard time dealing with everything at once, but now i think i have a good hold on things. i'm going to work my ass off in college now because i realized how much calvin does and how much i do are a huge difference. i need to start working towards school to have a good life after it's over and calvin is out of the military. i can't just expect him to hand me everything i want and need. i know he will support me i'm not saying  he won't, but i don't want to put that extra pressure on him that he has to provide for the both of us or we can't survive. no one should have that much pressure. he is my motivation for most of the things i do in my life. but i need to start taking college much more seriously because i know that is what i want and what calvin wants for me. anyways. i have early class tomorrow so i should head to bed fairly soon, so i'm signing off now. peace out.