wow

sorry it's been so long since i've blogged. i have had so much going on i have no time for myself anymore it feels like. with full time work and school it's been insane. so calvin got stationed in japan. sigh. yes japan. yay for me. i mean i'm glad that there isn't a lot of fighting going on there which is really nice. but he is just sooo far away. half way across the world. and when it's day here, it's night there. i'm just afraid we are going to drift apart if we never get to talk to each other. every one is telling me to marry him and go with him and that terrifies me because it makes me think that if i dont' marry him now, we won't make it. and the thought of that just kills me. if he is going to be out at sea for like seven months at a time, i think we will just get married but i'll live here. cuz there is not point in me living out there alone or being here with my family but still away from calvin. but if he is going to be home every few days or weeks even, maybe even every month, i think it is for sure worth it to live there in japan with him. oh my gosh that experience would be soo cool. i mean i would leave my family and friends behind but it's only a temporary living arrangement. he is only going to be in three and a half more years and i still have to get a degree before i move anywhere. so i guess there are going to be a lot of changes in my life in the next three years and i need to start preparing myself for them i think. i'm sad that he is going to be so far away, but i'm excited at the same time for him and to see what life has in store for us. so right now i'm having a lot of mixed feelings about things and idk. i do however know that i want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. my new life moto with having a boyfriend in the military is expect the unexpected. lol. well i guess that is all i have to say at the moment and i had better get some studying done for my two exams tomorrow. so thanks for listening. i love you calvin. peace out.