sad :(

well i just cant sleep right now because i watched a scary movie with my roommates.. what's new? haha but i just cant' stop thinking about calvin. my r.a.'s boyfriend is in the navy also and he just got home from c school and he gets to stay here anywhere from 6 months to 1 year.... but then he gets shipped off to afgahistan for an entire year. i don't know how she can handle that. i pray every day that that doesn't happen to calvin. if he is gone for 6 monthts at a time... that would seriously suck but i think that is do able. 1 year.... so much happens in a year it's insane. i am praying sooo much that he doesn't get sent to afgahistan for a year or anything like that. but of course life never goes as planned and you can't change it no matter how hard you pray. just doesn't work that way even though i wish it did. well all my midterms are over and done with finally! now i'm just concentrated on my trip to see calvin. but each day seems to go by slower and slower. there is only eight days left.. and i don't know how many more letters i should send. lol. i think maybe one more and then i'll see him. i want to send more but then he might get them after i leave.. that would be really weird. lol! i miss that man so much it hurts. he is my everything and i hate not being able to freaking call him everyday just to tell him how my day was and how much i love him. soon i guess.... i just can't wait for him to come home for christmas and in january. i'm just extremely terrified for what is to come after that. he can't help where they put him and i just hope its somewhere fairly close so i can visit. i would wait for calvin for forever but i just really wish i could see him more often. i guess it's only four years out of our lives and that is a small amount compared to the rest of our lives once you think about it. i'm so glad he just signed up for a four year contract. he said he is going to get out and get a job as a firefighter :) which is amazing. of course he has to insist on something dangerous... yay for me. haha jk. it's an amazing job i just worry too much about him. a firefighter and a nurse... haha good combination. :) anyways... i had better try to get some more sleep tonight.. if that is possible. peace out.