weird

so have you ever felt like you just need a good cry? like you're kinda sad but not to the point of crying but you feel like you'll feel better after a good long cry? i have been feeling that way for a couple days now. i got my letters from calvin and i'm sooo happy! i just miss him like crazy badly! and i got another one today and it was freaking awesome. i like almost starting crying in front of his mom. he was saying how he wants to spend all his time with me so he is thinking he is going to finish out his 4 years and get a degree in criminal justice and become a police officer. that is a scary job but i would much rather have him be a police officer than in the military in war zones and stuff like that. but i'm sooo glad that he decided that. he said that he wanted to do that and settle down and start a family. :) that was like the best thing i've ever heard. i was sooo  happy that he said that. i mean it's scary to think about in a way but not a bad way whatsoever. i'm just looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him :) all of this probably sounds so naive but i don't care right now. i love calvin with all my heart and soul and i can't wait to be with him forever and ever. he is my other half and i'm soo lucky to have him in my life. i just can't wait for these next four years to go by quickly so he can be out of the military and here with me. ya i know that sounds really selfish also and it may sound bad but i'm not sorry. i want him around a lot. and he wants me around a lot which i absolutely love! i'm going to be like glued to his side on liberty weekend (graduation). i mean i only  have like 19 more days until i see him and its going by kinda fast but really slow at the same time if that makes sense. it's a really weird feeling. well the day before i leave is going to be the longest day of my life. i wont' sleep well that night and then i'll have a flight the next day and it's going to be a long day besides the fact that i really want to see calvin. that is just going to make it like twenty times longer than usual. great. lol. well i think i'll be fine after i just have a really good cry and a really good night's sleep. i think that is all i need. well i had better get to bed then. goodnight.  i love you calvin. peace out.